Please Doctor, Can I just stay one more day?

I'm not sure why it's been so long since I've felt the urge to blog about something. I'm usually all about sharing more than you need to know about my life.

And speaking of more than you need to know, I had a hysterectomy last Thursday. Wow. That has been an experience. As I think about writing it, I'm tempted to stand up and walk away. But that would involving standing up, which involves getting dizzy, so I'll just stay here and write.

For a long time now, I've suspected that I might have endometriosis. So, the doctor and I finally decided it was time for a hysterectomy. We (the doc and I) were planning on taking out my uterus and my right ovary (since I have a lot of pain on the right side) and only taking the left ovary out if it looked like anything was wrong. I was secretly hoping there would be a good reason to take it out, and my wish was granted! It actually looked worse than the right side.

They say it takes five years from your life to have both ovaries removed. What they don't tell you is that worrying about that last ovary and dealing with the stress of hormones, etc. etc., takes ten years off (don't quote me).

Everything went wonderfully well in the hospital. I was on Morphine, Toradol, oxygen and IV fluids. I was very anemic with my hematocrit at 28, but with all that Morphine, who cares? Then they swooped in, took me off all those things, put me on Percocet, Naproxen and the traditional hospital water mug and sent me out the door.

By midnight at home, the room was spinning, I couldn't breathe and up came the wonderful dinner my neighbors had so generously brought our family earlier that night. I immediately stopped taking any and all medications they had given me and just reached for my trusty bottle of Ibuprofen. Turns out that seems to be just about enough (there are times I wish it was a tad stronger). Percocet shall never pass my lips again!

I've slowly but surely been feeling better each day. I'm tired. I get a little dizzy. I have a few aches and pains. But, I think I just might survive and even be happy about all of this!

Aren't you glad I don't have any pictures to post?

Momma don't take my Kodachrome away

Our family needs a red rock fix at least once a year.


Our needs were met at Kodachrome Basin during Spring Break.

Red Canyon

The girls HAD to have new sunglasses for the trip.



It was still a bit cold so we stayed in "cabins" instead of camping. HALLELUJAH!



The girls' cabin was always a bit messy. What can we say?


We spent a little time bonding with nature through art. We sketched, water-colored and Andrew got creative with Ashley's cheap camera.




We drank lots of water.


Mostly we hiked, took in the beauty, and enjoyed each other.

Ashley LOVED these hikes!

Kevin was happy to finally get a vacation that didn't include a theme park.


There are no pictures of Andrew hiking because he is a mountain goat that cannot be tamed. Or stay on the trail. We walked the trails. He scrambled up, over and all around the rocks. Tirelessly.

Oh wait. Here's a rock he couldn't climb.


We looked for images in the red rocks. Can you see the face?


Can you see the gnome?


Can you see the ballerina slipper?


We drove eleven miles on a dirt road to see an amazing double arch. Unfortunately it was dark when we finally got there, but it was so worth it.


We saw Shakespeare arch.


Emma got her Junior Ranger Badge from the nicest Park Ranger EVER.

We came home too soon for me. I needed another day, or two. But, we had to hit the road.

Good-bye southern Utah. Until we meet again.

I know. Don't laugh.

The 80s

Random picture of girls I don't know. But they look a lot like girls I did know!

Last night, Ashley totally told me she wanted to learn more about the 80s.

This might be due to the fact that Andrew and I have been complaining about how people have 80s dances and then totally have no idea what the 80s were all about.

We totally went roller skating where they had a poster at the entrance announcing an upcoming 80s Party! Pictured was a disco ball and three happy, party people. Not one of them looked like they had ever been anywhere near the 80s. In fact, they weren't even dressed up from the same decades as each other.

I totally used to say totally this often.

Ashley had thought of researching information on the internet (I'm so proud). But then, she realized she had the best possible resource at her fingertips!

She left a questionnaire by my bedside for me to fill out. At the top of the paper, it states: Please be descriptive.

I thought that, since the 80s are mostly just a neon blur in my mind, you should for sure help me out with her questions. Like, here they are.

Favorites:
Music (The list is so, so long. Everything from Aerosmith to the B-52s to the Cure)



Movies (Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Beverly Hills Cop, Silverado, 84 Charing Cross Road, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and many, many more)



Jewelry
Brand of clothes/shoes

How Did You:
Listen to music? (Besides loudly?) Mostly on this: (it was totally awesome)



Wear your clothes and hair? BIG Actually, my hair wasn't too big, if I recall. But wearing big, over-sized shirts over leggings was my thing for a while. K, I take it back about the hair.

1985

Dance? (You don't even want to know) Everything from disco in the early 80s to slam-dancing and ska in the late 80s.

Communicate? On a land-line and/or with handwritten letters. But we put a lot of effort into those letters!! My friends and I were very big on making envelopes out of magazine pages or anything we could find. And funny postcards were a must!

Date? Prom wasn't an all day thing. We just went to dinner and to prom. But flowers and formal wear were a MUST. And you had to date a stud and not a geek.

What Happened...

Politically? I'm not the best person to ask on this one. Can't remember. (Michelle...?)

Innovation-ally? Personal Computers (MS-DOS, Apple, Windows), Cabbage Patch dolls, disposable cameras, and CDs

Historically? I actually graduated from high school and I went to college. Two historical events in my opinion!

Socially? AIDS (not for me personally, of course). But "coming out of the closet" was a big deal. And Nancy Reagan told us to "just say no" to drugs.

Was it cool to:

Have hobbies? What were they? I don't know about this one. Maybe my friends could help us out here. What were cool 80s hobbies?? (I remember doing raised mod podge Holly Hobby dolls in the 70s. Barf me out!)

Travel? Yes! I went to New York, Israel, Egypt and Mexico in the 80s. Wish I could have done more. It was rad.

See live sports? My friends and I weren't into it, so, no, it wasn't hip. ;-)

Be Artsy (photography, singing, dancing, painting, acting ...) Of course! My friends and I were always taking pictures and trying to make them "artsy looking." I got my degree in humanities in the 80s, so artsy stuff was right up my ally.

Have a religion? I don't know if it was cool, but it was very cool for me in the second half of the 80s. I had a lot of making up to do for the first half!

Have puffy sleeves? VERY COOL and if you didn't have puffy sleeves, you needed shoulder pads, for sure.

And tell me anything else worth knowing ... or not. :-)

Okay my friends. I'm totally stoked about taking a shower, so I've gotta jet. Tell Ashley and I anything and everything you remember about the 80s.

Glimpse

At 3:00 this afternoon, Ashley called to say she needed a ride from school. She stayed after to get caught up on a few things. Every term, at about midterm, she realizes she's failing some of her classes. And I mean failing, as in an F. She then kicks in gear and by the end of the term gets nothing but As and Bs (more As than Bs).

Crazy girl. Reminds me of her mother.

Speaking of failing grades, I was still in my brightly colored, horizontally striped, flannel pajamas at 3:00. Lookin' pretty, too. But I jumped in the car and ran to pick her up.

We decided it would be a good idea to stop and pick up Emma as well. She sprained her ankle at gymnastics last week and is still having trouble doing too much walking.

While we were waiting for Emma to come out of school, our neighbor pulled up behind us. Ashley jumped out to visit while my pajamas and I watched them from the side-view mirror.

It's an odd thing to watch from a distance as your daughter-looking friendly, beautiful and mature-visits with an adult. I sat there trying to remember what Ashley looked like when she was the seven year old being picked up from school and I was the one visiting neighbors who waited in their cars for kids to come running out of school.

I can't remember. I have to get pictures out to remember.

As I sat there and watched her, it occurred to me how much I like her and how lucky I am to have her as my daughter. Even though I couldn't remember what she looked like at seven, I could see clearly what she would be like at twenty, or thirty.

And I liked what I saw.

Troubled Waters

Recently I was reminded of the time Jesus walked on water and summoned Peter to walk toward him. As Peter kept his eyes on the Savior, he was able to walk across the troubled, stormy waters. When he looked down at the water, doubting, he began to sink. Then, as he turned his eyes again to the Savior, Jesus reached for him and pulled him up.

What are your troubled waters?

My father died last Saturday. He had a brain tumor and died in a rest home about six months after being told he would have about six months to live. My father generously provided for me and added so much zest to my life. But honestly, the man was a scoundrel. Being his daughter has been a sea of troubled waters.

My mother died a year and a half ago. She had breast cancer that spread to her liver. She left one of my sisters and I as co-trustees of her Trust. The issues revolving around that Trust have not yet been resolved and the waters have indeed been troubled. Mom fed me, clothed me and nurtured me when I was sick. But honestly, she was mentally ill and was married to a scoundrel. Being her daughter was stormy at best.

Sometimes I forget who is calling me across the water and think I have to do it alone. At those times, I flail around and battle the waters and even forget which direction I'm headed.

When I remember the Savior, the sea still rages on, but it's like I'm floating on top. He immediately reaches for me, pulls me up and I have a clear vision of where I'm headed and how to get there. I feel ... inspired.

Just for a moment, stop thinking about the troubles and think about Jesus.

What a relief.

Check it

Check out this great Valentine give away from my awesome niece Ahhnna! Let the lovin' begin...

anna: this is me helping you helping me

Happy New Year!

The new year has come at me full force and seemingly unexpected. I thought I expected it, but then it was here before it was expected.

So, anyway, I've been thinking about what this year holds.

Andrew turns 17, Ashley 15 and Emma 8.
Kevin and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage.
Emma will be baptized in June!
Andrew will be a senior in high school (I am stunned and amazed).
Ashley will start high school (almost equally stunned and amazed).
Ashley will start driving with her learner's permit (just stunned).
It is likely (fingers crossed) that the issues surrounding my mother's estate will be resolved.
Sadly, it is also likely my father's brain tumor will succeed in taking his life.
Kendra will have a baby boy! (And many other babies will be born in my neighborhood, which means I get to hold them at church.)